The last 2 weeks I’ve been battling the flu, and then last weekend battled a cold. Needless to say it’s made it very difficult to work on my Thesis the last two weeks. Now that I’m almost at 100%; the lack of work I’ve produced is starting to finally hit me, and its starting to really freak me out.
Lately I’ve been feeling so brain dead at school. I keep writing my ideas, setting game plans for the day, but I barely make it through 25% of my list. I’ve been so unmotivated…I feel like I don’t have a great thesis, a great project…yet my friends really believe I have something great but of course part of me feels like they’re just being nice and saying what I want to hear. There is no right or wrong in Thesis, but I want it to be good.
My issue of self-confidence and insecurities has something thats always on the back of my mind ever since I got into school. Heck I even wrote a post about it briefly while in Tokyo. This fear of failure has been eating away at me since I’ve gotten sick, yet I’m not motivated to pull myself out and get something done. I always go into studio thinking I can do this, I can get this done by the end of the night, but it never comes to fruition. I’m starting to really get scared of the outcome considering 1/3 of our final semester is already done…but I can’t seem to get it together. Part of me feels like I’m on the verge of a break down, that i’m in a sinking hole that just keeps getting deeper and deeper. On top of that I have this gnawing feeling of utter loneliness, like I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore.
With school being so close to the end….its scary to think what happens after…